C F C/G Em It's about all the sad stuff. Just picture a depressed onion cutting itself. C F C/G Em C F I met a homeless man named Rich C G Isn't that terrible? C F I saw a flyer for a lost dog Am Em And the dog didn't have any legs C F Am G I saw a diabetic kid trick-or-treating C F I saw a giraffe who had a short neck Am G That was sad, or a deer E F C G I saw an old man get hit by a train E F He didn't see it in the pouring rain C G E He didn't hear me shout, "Look out for the train!" Because I didn't say anything. C F C/G Em C F C/G Em I just thought to myself, "Ooh, this is gonna be sad." C F C/G Em And it was. C F C/G Em I'm a genius. C F I saw a man with only one eye C G In a 3D-movie C F I saw a little boy drop his ice cream cone Am Em Directly on his mother's corpse C F I saw a kitten stuck in a tree Am G Then the kitten jumped off and he hung himself C F Am G I saw a boy who had red hair. E F C G I went to a store looking for something to buy E F But they only sold paintings of the same sad guy C G No, wait--this store sells mirrors! E See what I did there? C Em F Fm Let's rock! No. C F I saw an old man slip and fall Am G Hey, what a fucking idiot C F I saw a woman at her daughter's funeral Am G Ha ha ha. Classic comedy. C F Everything that once was sad Am G Is somehow funny now C F The Holocaust and 9/11 Am G That shit's funny 24/7, cuz E F C G Tragedy will be exclusively joked about E F C Because my empathy is bumming me out G E Goodbye, sadness C F C/G Em C Hello jokes.